i may or may not be watching the land before time
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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