hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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