"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
