I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
