Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize