cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think I sprained my soul last night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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