oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
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