Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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