that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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