He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
