I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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