im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
