I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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