i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
