Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize