Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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