dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
