i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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