Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
