I'm lost and stupid without you.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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