Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
