weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
