I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
