My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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