Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Randomize
