You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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