I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize