we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
