I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize