Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
