the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
50% drunk capacity currently
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
