All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
