i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize