So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
