I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
