Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You pole danced in your parka.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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