You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize