I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
