when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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