Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
