I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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