cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
