I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
