She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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