i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
