At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize