He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
