woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
