I CAN MOONWALK!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
