Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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