The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
