I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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