I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
