Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
