Heybabeimwearingurpanties
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
