What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
