im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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