i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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