my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
