Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think your dad took our porno
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
