when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well you can't waste a boner
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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