I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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