I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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