Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
